masterkidderminster.net

…Ema and ondrej came soon after, and as is usually the case with me I made a great effort at first, going out and taking them to the local, coming back fairly drunk on the few I had already had before decampling with them to the summer house at the top of my parents’ garden with a couple of snails we raced on the glass table, drinking Becherovka, a Czech spirit.

Soon though I tired of it all. I couldn’t take Ondrej and his constant chat, his incessent questions about English pronunciation, and, just being around people. Read the rest of this entry »

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I found this test in a link in a blog by Renaeden,  who was kind enough to respond to a post of mine on On The Spectrum, giving me some tips on blog promotion and customisation. These have helped me pimp my blog, and might even one day help me gain some readers for it!

I was fairly surprised that I’m not yet hopelessly long-winded, but then I suppose my problems with concentration see to that most of the time. Perhaps its just the last few posts that have seemed to go on just a little too long.

I have determined now to look a little more into XHTML and the technicalities of all this stuff. I do actually enjoy it, and am more than capable still of geekiness and getting excited about it all. I proved that to myself when I came back from Prague and really threw myself into it. I shall have to try again.

Don’t see myself sitting down to marathon sessions of Star Wars Deep Space 9 for a while yet though

The Guardian’s Saturday Review was once one of the highlights of my week. The only reason it isn’t now is because of my desperate attempts to cut out all the distractions in my life. Desperate attempts, of course, which haven’t remotely worked and which are no doubt destined to continue for some time. Favourites are Doonesbury, which is occasionally perplexing (I once looked up a site to get the measure of the cast of characters, but didn’t succeed in learning very much) but unfailingly entertaining, the political cartoon, and a column called Writer’s Rooms in which a photograph is accompanied by a short description of a writer’s relationship with their room and the various items in it. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m so far from everyone in my life right now. I have no way of communicating anything significant to anybody. Something’s got to give, but I can’t see how or when.

I have been feeling inept over the last few days and weeks. My hair is unkempt and I look like I take less care of myself than many a student. Over the last few days too I have been thinking over the opportunity of stopping work for a while to write. This is what I have wanted for years and I have been offered it. I should be jumping at the chance, but instead I hesitate. Read the rest of this entry »

I’d been letting things slip. Well, ‘we’, she had said, and at the time I hadn’t been sure if it was a rare bout of generosity: she had been blowing hot and cold for so long now I didn’t know which way was up. The bills had been coming in; final reminders stacking up on trays which had been improvised to rank them in order of priority. At work, I had taken to preparing all of my accounts at an eisel with charcoals, pencils and oils - that the clients on the whole liked this kind of attention wasn’t the point, as I had known it wouldn’t be from the start; the gesture had been noted. Otherwise there were too many things to mention, and it’s not even as if these financial and career predicaments were the most important - for me they patently were not, and my blase demeaner certainly wound up my boss more than anything else - rather it is just that these were the things people most noticed, whatever else I did being taken as evidence of the creative temperament which I was taken, ludicrously, to be for the work I had drifted into so long ago, for which so much is forgiven. Read the rest of this entry »

 

 

Working as a teacher convinced me that I enjoy working with people, both when it is a pleasure and when it is a challenge, as inevitably it occasionally proves to be. It also reaffirmed that I could not work in a typical office environment, and, given the financial limitations of such work, that I am not motivated by financial reward alone. I consider that working as a teacher involves many of the character traits that are also demanded while working with children with behavioural problems, that is, patience, an ability to listen, and perhaps above all, a sense of humour which can be expressed at the most unexpected and stressful occasions, and which may transform them. Read the rest of this entry »

Monday, 17 October 2005, 9:00

Two eggs, coffee

 

Ok, tired from having had too much decaf tea last night, wanking after weetabix and all bran and not sleeping until 1:30.

 

10:00 coffee

 

2* Decaf tea,

 

Two pieces of cheese-snack

 

11:40 coffee

 

1:30 two large potatoes with 1 tin of Heinz beans

 

Ok, able to concentrate.

 

18:00 creatine

 

18:45 chicken breast, my fill of potatoes, broccoli

 

Plenty of water

 

10:45 fruit and fibre – didn’t sleep immediately, but I had been sleeping later most days

 

 

 

8:45 four slices brown bread, 2 eggs and two slices of ham

            A coffee

 

9:15 a decaf

 

A reverie on The journal, drift off very quickly after sitting at the computer. Otherwise ok.

 

9:30 a decaf

 

Lots of water

 

13:30 a baked spud from town, with beans and butter.

 

18:30 grilled salmon, potatoes and brussels

 

22:30 weetabix and All bran with milk – unable to sleep for a good while

 

19^th October

 

8:20 coffee, strong, black

 

 

9:30 two eggs

 

12:00 a sandwich on brown bread – chicken salad from a shop

 

14:10 half caf coffee – reveries, unable to concentrate much.

 

13:00 Decaf tea with milk

 

2* 2 Weetabix and All bran with unsweetened soya milk

 

13:33 tired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday, 20 October 2005

 

8:45 two eggs

 

Three coffees over morning

 

Creatine

 

12:45 some beans from a health food shop, fried grated carrot, onion, cider vinegar and malt vinegar, peppers and soya meat replacement

 

Feel great

 

creatine

 

18:45 potatoes, broccoli, brussels, two pork cutlets

 

Feel fine

 

21:45 two weetabix and all-bran with soya milk

 

Friday

 

Two eggs

 

Lunch: beans from the day before, toast with cottage cheese and mushrooms, banana

 

Dinner?

 

Supper: two bowls of muesli with milk. Next day felt terrible. Farting all the while, but proper rough in the morning, and didn’t sleep very well.

 

Monday, 24 October 2005

 

Breakfast – two eggs and banana

 

Two coffees

 

Lunch all day breakfast, including 2x fried bread and a little toast – a slice. Beans, sausage, bacon. Feel fine.

 

Coffee with milk

 

Creatine 2g at lunch.

 

 

Feel fine all day.

 

Dinner: stew with potatoes.

 

 

Supper two x weetabix and all bran

 

 

 

 

Friday, 28 October 2005

 

Seven and a half hours sleep, got up at eight

 

9:30 1 egg and two Weetabix with All Bran and milk

 

Flitful in the morning, from Hasek to Punctured to Guardian

 

Two coffees

 

11:25 coffee half-caf

 

Saturday, 29^th October, 2005-10-29

 

8 hours sleep, up at nine

 

9:30 Breakfast, banana and an apple

Two coffees

 

A Ginsters and cottage pie, potatoes and pork for lunch, an apple for dessert

 

More coffee. Perhaps two half-caffs. Lots of drinks of cranberry juice diluted with plenty of water.

 

Handful of nuts when already restless and wondering about depression – 17:00?

 

 

18:19 feel very restless, though I have been tidying, and usually feel this way. Feel I should be doing something, and feel the dilemma of it being Saturday and having told Fletch I would be around to go out. Feel I have committed to working out and so on, have committed to lots of things, and that I have limited time to write the new novel.

 

Sunday, 30^th October

 

A morning run. Perhaps 3 miles – start/stop

 

Monday, 31^st October, 2005

 

Tuesday, 1^st November

 

A run before dinner 3 miles

 

Masturbating to finish day, wasting time and sleep.

 

 

Two eggs for breakfast and a coffee.

 

No further coffee, but one decaf tea, and water.

 

 

13:00 Baked spud in town with cheese and beans

 

Back home. 14:00 protein shake with milk and water, and creatine.

 

16:30 cornflakes and two grain bars – sweet, with raisons

 

 

Friday, 04 November 2005

9:00 wake

 

Breakfast – cheese, coffee, corn flakes egg

 

Slept too little, came back from Pak Choi’s after a Ploughman’s sandwich and two cans of guiness. Then had Corn Flakes and didn’t go to bed until late, despite feeling tired.

 

Feel tired and restless now.

 

 

 

17-04-06 17:23

 

Breakfast, late: Gluten-free muesli, low-GI, with Soya milk. Green tea.

 

Another green tea around 12. GF high GI rice cereal with soya milk.

 

Lunch: GF pasta high GI

 

17:26 antsy, pressure in head. (I’ve observed this several times after pasta now.)

 

19:40 run = 3 miles

 

20:00 a ridiculous amount of chocolate

 

28-04-06 20:11

 

Gluten-free bread for breakfast with egg and Yakult.

 

Two Yakult and two slices of Irish tea bread before dinner.

 

Very unable to concentrate. Feeling that this is all the time. That it has never been otherwise.

 

21:11 a few hours after dinner – better able to concentrate. Still reveries, but better.

 

29-04-06 15:20

 

Yakult and Cabbage juice first thing

 

Gluten/dairy free white bread with poached eggs for breakfast.

 

Risotto for lunch at around 15:00

 

Drifting off throughout the day. Difficulty speaking – it’s a chore to force the words out.

/ one hour or equivalent

> significant breakthrough

~ wavering

< significant hold-up/stall

* prioritised (de facto)

.. slow steady

# external glitch

October 2005

In Progress

Job Searching

Nutrition:

Potatoes not Prozac

Website – autism

Other

Food Diary

HTTP **///////

In the Black ..,..,..

Brick by Brick ~,~,<

Unforgiving Minutes <,~,..

Czech

exercise

Targets

Czech three times a week

merry.doc

calendar.doc

class.doc