Monday, 17 October 2005, 9:00
Two eggs, coffee
Ok, tired from having had too much decaf tea last night, wanking after weetabix and all bran and not sleeping until 1:30.
10:00 coffee
2* Decaf tea,
Two pieces of cheese-snack
11:40 coffee
1:30 two large potatoes with 1 tin of Heinz beans
Ok, able to concentrate.
18:00 creatine
18:45 chicken breast, my fill of potatoes, broccoli
Plenty of water
10:45 fruit and fibre – didn’t sleep immediately, but I had been sleeping later most days
8:45 four slices brown bread, 2 eggs and two slices of ham
A coffee
9:15 a decaf
A reverie on The journal, drift off very quickly after sitting at the computer. Otherwise ok.
9:30 a decaf
Lots of water
13:30 a baked spud from town, with beans and butter.
18:30 grilled salmon, potatoes and brussels
22:30 weetabix and All bran with milk – unable to sleep for a good while
19th October
8:20 coffee, strong, black
9:30 two eggs
12:00 a sandwich on brown bread – chicken salad from a shop
14:10 half caf coffee – reveries, unable to concentrate much.
13:00 Decaf tea with milk
2* 2 Weetabix and All bran with unsweetened soya milk
13:33 tired.
Thursday, 20 October 2005
8:45 two eggs
Three coffees over morning
Creatine
12:45 some beans from a health food shop, fried grated carrot, onion, cider vinegar and malt vinegar, peppers and soya meat replacement
Feel great
creatine
18:45 potatoes, broccoli, brussels, two pork cutlets
Feel fine
21:45 two weetabix and all-bran with soya milk
Friday
Two eggs
Lunch: beans from the day before, toast with cottage cheese and mushrooms, banana
Dinner?
Supper: two bowls of muesli with milk. Next day felt terrible. Farting all the while, but proper rough in the morning, and didn’t sleep very well.
Monday, 24 October 2005
Breakfast – two eggs and banana
Two coffees
Lunch all day breakfast, including 2x fried bread and a little toast – a slice. Beans, sausage, bacon. Feel fine.
Coffee with milk
Creatine 2g at lunch.
Feel fine all day.
Dinner: stew with potatoes.
Supper two x weetabix and all bran
Friday, 28 October 2005
Seven and a half hours sleep, got up at eight
9:30 1 egg and two Weetabix with All Bran and milk
Flitful in the morning, from Hasek to Punctured to Guardian
Two coffees
11:25 coffee half-caf
Saturday, 29th October, 2005-10-29
8 hours sleep, up at nine
9:30 Breakfast, banana and an apple
Two coffees
A Ginsters and cottage pie, potatoes and pork for lunch, an apple for dessert
More coffee. Perhaps two half-caffs. Lots of drinks of cranberry juice diluted with plenty of water.
Handful of nuts when already restless and wondering about depression – 17:00?
18:19 feel very restless, though I have been tidying, and usually feel this way. Feel I should be doing something, and feel the dilemma of it being Saturday and having told Fletch I would be around to go out. Feel I have committed to working out and so on, have committed to lots of things, and that I have limited time to write the new novel.
Sunday, 30th October
A morning run. Perhaps 3 miles – start/stop
Monday, 31st October, 2005
Tuesday, 1st November
A run before dinner 3 miles
Masturbating to finish day, wasting time and sleep.
Two eggs for breakfast and a coffee.
No further coffee, but one decaf tea, and water.
13:00 Baked spud in town with cheese and beans
Back home. 14:00 protein shake with milk and water, and creatine.
16:30 cornflakes and two grain bars – sweet, with raisons
Friday, 04 November 2005
9:00 wake
Breakfast – cheese, coffee, corn flakes egg
Slept too little, came back from Pak Choi’s after a Ploughman’s sandwich and two cans of guiness. Then had Corn Flakes and didn’t go to bed until late, despite feeling tired.
Feel tired and restless now.
17-04-06 17:23
Breakfast, late: Gluten-free muesli, low-GI, with Soya milk. Green tea.
Another green tea around 12. GF high GI rice cereal with soya milk.
Lunch: GF pasta high GI
17:26 antsy, pressure in head. (I’ve observed this several times after pasta now.)
19:40 run = 3 miles
20:00 a ridiculous amount of chocolate
28-04-06 20:11
Gluten-free bread for breakfast with egg and Yakult.
Two Yakult and two slices of Irish tea bread before dinner.
Very unable to concentrate. Feeling that this is all the time. That it has never been otherwise.
21:11 a few hours after dinner – better able to concentrate. Still reveries, but better.
29-04-06 15:20
Yakult and Cabbage juice first thing
Gluten/dairy free white bread with poached eggs for breakfast.
Risotto for lunch at around 15:00
Drifting off throughout the day. Difficulty speaking – it’s a chore to force the words out.
November 25th, 2007 at 7:27 pm
This, of course, is a food diary, and as such belongs in the sister site http://yeswehavenobananas.net but I have found it on my parents’ computer from back when I had returned from Prague, was using at least two computers and a typewriter, and when projects died around me with an inevitability that now leaves me so so depressed, thinking of Coleridge’s poem Work Without Hope which I once wrote out and had on my wall at university, 6, 7, years ago.
Maybe it can mean nothing to any outside observer, making this more of a solipsistic enterprise than it has even been until now, but then, it is so sad for me to open up a file and see a story I can now no longer remember, filed so haphazardly (I always would leave so many documents open at once in Word, as i did for those years at uni, unable to file them away, trying not to snap at my parents if in ignorance they shut down the computer rather than hibernated it), stories and projects I know must once have possessed me, trailing off to nothing. Here is just one other. Perhaps you could only imagine with what hope I would have opened that file, and will again.
And two years have passed!